Busted
by holycitygirl
Summary: Logan and Marie. How they feel about each other, Jean and life after...
1. Logans love lost?

Busted Chapter 1

I don't own anything.

Post X-2.  Rogue and Wolverine deal with the aftermath.  How they feel.  About each other, Jean, and life.  

I forget when words were only words 

_She knows the party makes me nervous_

_In this stage we can't get hurt _

_Don't try to understand me  
  
_

_we're too cool to be alone but, _

_Not too crazy to get busted_  
  
  


The man known as Wolverine felt numb.  Numb, and weak and not at all like a man with enough strength and power to defeat a whole army of anti –mutant soldiers and all the demons of his past.  But that is what he had done.  Well maybe not all the demons.  And he had had some help.  One person in particular had helped a lot.  And given her life saving them all.  He wanted to cry for Jean.  He wanted to cry like Scott cried, like Scott was still crying.  But he couldn't.  He was too numb.  He thought back to the past days events and he couldn't believe them.  How had they happened?  He'd just got back.  Hadn't even had enough time to settle in – wash his clothes – take Marie to dinner – piss of Scott by flirting with Jean in front of him.  Nope, hadn't got to do any of that.  He was starting to think he was bad luck at ole' Mutant High.  As soon as he arrived the shit hit the fan.  Soldiers, kidnappings, near plane crashes, the guy who was responsible for turning him into Magneto's wet dream, girls with fingernail knives, and then Jean.  Jean was gone.  God and he had almost lost Rogue too.  A couple of times.  First at the school, then when she was sucked out of the plane and then when she flew the damn thing to save them even though she had no idea what she was doing.  Damn what was it with his woman trying to save him?  That wasn't their job.  But he'd be dead himself if they hadn't.  Dead like Jean.  When this day had started he certainly didn't think it would end like this.  He should have done something differently.  He shouldn't have stolen that kiss.  He had no right pulling her emotions into two different directions.  She belonged with Scott.  She knew that – hell he knew that.  She belonged with someone who could make her life better, ease some of her burden.  And that was never going to be someone Logan could be.  Logan created chaos, turmoil, he had never been able to help anyone, not even himself.  Well except Marie.  Marie was the one person who he had saved.  He'd given her a lot of issues and nightmares while he was doing it but…He knew that she didn't mind.  She was the only real friend he had ever had.  That is what she was to him – not a sister, not a daughter – a friend, the only one he had ever had.  Jean hadn't even been his friend.  No she was just an object of his affection.  A symbol, a beautiful symbol of everything he could never have.  And now she was gone.  


	2. Marie's mad mourning

Chapter 2

Marie POV

Still Matchbox Twenty's Busted.  Still not my X-men.  

Plenty of song left guys –tell me if you want me to continue. 

_I found out one life ain't enough _

_I need another soul to feed on I'm  
the flame I can't get burnt _

_I'm wholly understated  
I found silence in this space an on and off again attraction _

_I need such amazing grace heaven sweep me away _

The woman thought of as a girl known as Rogue felt angry.  She wanted to cry.  To break down and cry and beat her fists at what had happened.  Her friend and mentor was dead.  Her teacher, her roll model, her competition for Logan's attention.  Jean had been all of these things.  All of them and more.  And now she was dead.  Gone.  And Rogue really wanted to cry because of the unfairness of it all.  But the only emotion she could feel was anger.  Blind rage –and that wasn't an emotion that brought up many tears.  She was so mad.  Mad at the world, mad at Scott and Logan, mad at herself and mad at Jean.  How could she have done this to them all?  How were they supposed to go on without her?  She was their strength.  Their touchstone.  Her intelligence had saved them all a million times over.  She could still remember waking up in the lab feeling like a trapped animal.  Feeling like Wolverine – smelling, hearing, sensing, everything.  And feeling so alone.  The only thing that had calmed her down was Jean.  Jean's smooth voice and quiet demeanor.  It had lulled the beast within her.  She also remembered later when Logan's traits had retreated and Magneto's had tried to take over.  She remembers tasting anger then too.  It was in the back of her throat –clogging and choking her –trying to make her do things, feel things, that she didn't want to feel.  She also felt fear.  Fear of humans, fear of the future –and Jean had helped her then too.  Told her in a motherly tone that everything was going to be fine.  Helped the professor teach her ways to make the voices stop – to push the personalities behind her own.  But now Jean was gone and who was gonna help her get a hold of John's anger.  Who was gonna help her get control of her own?  She was supposed to be happy.  Logan was back.  Back for good it looked.  He had let go of his past and become part of the team.  She was supposed to be happy.  But no – her friend was back –but another was gone.  And Logan was hurtin too.  Hurtin bad.  And she didn't know how to help him.  And she had a sneaking suspician that she was the only one who could help him now.  And she had no idea how to do it.  Which just made her angry.  He'd loved Jean.  Wanted Jean.  Rogue had spent an entire summer getting use to that.  Letting go of her crush –telling herself that Logan would never see her as anything but a little girl.  She had went to a lot of effort to not resent Jean for having and throwing away all the feelings she so badly wanted for herself.  And she had done it.  And now – now Jean dies.  Jean leaves just when Logan might be back for good.  It was hard not to be mad at life for that.  For killing what could have been - what could have been for Jean and Logan.  What she would never have in this life, this world.   

_love don't change, _

_don't come around here _

_don't wear my heart on your sleeve like a high school letter _

_don't strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it _

_and the people we've become, _

_well they've never been the people who we are_


	3. Wolverines worry

I strap on one horse and prayed for luck 

I dug another hole to bleed

I know exactly how this works 

I need a new feel dirty  
I don't need you crowding up my space 

I just want to get inside you  
You can't believe the hearts you save giving something away  
  


Marie's doing her Rogue impersonation again.  Playing all big and bad and unaffected.  Like unaffected is ever something she is gonna be able to be.  Marie is passion.  She is like a sponge.  Everything she feels is right there, wet and soaked up for any one to see.  Anyone who wants to look.  I don't think that boyfriend is looking though.   She is pushing him away –and he is retreating.  He didn't know if it was because he didn't like the new attitude or he was a little scared of the powers he had recently been given a sample of but he was retreating.  The whole thing pissed Logan off.  He hated her anger, he hated that she had valid reasons to have it.  He hated that that boy was running and he hated that that boy had gotten close enough to want too.  In truth he had never thought the boy would get as far as he did.  That is why he hadn't bothered to scare the kid when he got back.  He knew soon enough Marie's powers would do it for him.  He had first hand knowledge of those powers twice.  And believe you me if they could put the Wolverine down for the count –they weren't anything a little frozen behind the ear twerp could handle.  So to say the least –things weren't getting much better.  He was feeling less numb lately.  Starting to adjust to life without Jean and life back in the mansion.  They were all still hurting but learning to move on, as she would have wanted.  Logan had found that his empty regret was being replaced by a nesting urge that he had thought himself incapable.  It seemed all he wanted was to be with Marie.  Talk to her, spend time with her, make her feel better, convince her that she could turn to him and that he needed to turn to her too.  But that was proving difficult.  She was so angry.  She spent hours upon hours in the work out rooms.  She was learning to fly the jet.  She was locked up in her room.  The professor had said that part of her problem was the brief absorption with that punk John.  The boy had been a ball of anger and teenage rebellion and the price Marie had to pay for saving those policemen had been this new personality running around in her head.  But Logan guessed that seeing Magneto again and losing Jean wasn't helping.  Whereas he had spent his weeks establishing routine and trying to focus on the person he had left, and Cyclops had sunk into depression and apathy towards his former life, Marie was blaming the world.  Logan had been merely concerned to start with but now he was getting pissed.  He wanted –needed Marie to be Marie.  Not this new aloof person who had no time for anyone.  He had never noticed until the change that he had liked Marie as much as he did the way she was.  They had spent such a brief amount of time together if you looked at a calendar –but it didn't feel that way.  He knew her.  She knew him.  And he was so grateful that she had liked him anyway.  He had come to expect warm smiles and concerned glances from Marie.  He knew she was always going to come over and speak if he saw her around the mansion.  He knew that if she needed anything he was going to be the first person she came too.  It was nice.  Especially to a guy like him, a guy that most wouldn't approach if they were on fire and he had the last glass of ice water.  He really missed her.  More than he missed Jean even.  He wanted Marie back.  And damn it he was going to do whatever he had to - to get just that.  

love don't change, 

don't come around here 

don't wear my heart on your sleeve like a high school letter 

don't strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it 

and the people we've become, 

well they've never been the people who we are


End file.
